What Happened to Us?
by downtotheriverwewillrun
Summary: She thought they were finally getting somewhere. Apparently Castle thought differently. Kate wants her version of Castle back, not this one who acts too much like the one she met during their first case. She's prepared to fight. Set after 47 Seconds and The Limey.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters (as much as I wish I did).

* * *

It wasn't meant to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be backing away, or jetting off for spontaneous weekends in Las Vegas, or having lunch dates with blonde stewardesses (oh sorry, _flight attendants_). Not now. Not after everything they've been through together. Not after she's spent so much time making progress with Dr Burke. Not when she's so close to being better and being who she wants to be; who she wants to be for him.

Kate has no idea what happened to their relationship, but ever since the bombing case a few weeks ago, Castle has changed into a completely different person. It's almost as if the past four years of their friendship and whatever else has progressed between them now means nothing to him. Those years of built up trust and puppy-like loyalty seem to have disappeared in the blink of an eye. In place of the Richard Castle that Kate Beckett has come to grow so fondly of and yes, let's admit it, the Richard Castle she _loves_, now sits a Richard Castle similar to the one she met four years ago during their first case together; the playboy one. It physically aches Kate to see him this way again. _Oh well, old habits die hard I guess_.

No.

No. She refuses to believe that. Kate was so convinced they were finally getting somewhere with their relationship and hell, Castle told her that he loved her that day in the cemetery. Regardless of the fact that she denied remembering the shooting, how can he move on so quickly, so easily, without a glance back to even give her the time of day to tell him what she so desperately wants to. That she's finally _ready_. She didn't realise how ready she was until now. Could it be too late? Surely it can't be. Despite how Castle's been acting, she's not ready to give up on them. It's as though he's punishing her, but Kate has no idea what she is being punished for.

Lanie thinks Kate waited too long. But _why now_? What the hell happened between them that made him suddenly detach and revert back to his old ways?

It's a slow evening at the precinct, with stacks of paperwork and empty cups of coffee, and suddenly Kate cannot take any more of it. Without a second thought, she jumps up from her desk, grabs her coat and makes her way towards the elevator. She's doing this. She needs to salvage what she can of this relationship. She just hopes she's not too late. Surely he can't be serious about this Jacinda. _Ugh. _Jacinda. She cringes inwardly at the name as she walks out of the 12th and makes her way to the Crown Vic.

The drive to Castle's loft feels like an eternity. The evening flow of traffic in the already bustling New York City streets leaves Kate feeling anxious and yes, scared. Terrified.

She finds a parking spot outside the loft and takes a minute to compose herself before stepping out of her car and into the lobby. With a look of determination on her face, she greets the doorman on her way in, an older man who gives her a friendly smile and a "good evening, Detective".

* * *

The ping of the elevator signalling its arrival at Castle's floor startles Kate out of her reverie and rings in her ears, sending a mad flutter of butterflies to her stomach.

She can do this. She can.

Kate takes a step out of the elevator and looks down the empty hallway to his front door, which has never seemed as far away as it does at this very moment. Taking a deep breath, she begins the walk to his door. Her mind is buzzing at a million miles an hour, hundreds of possible scenarios running through her mind, mostly bad, and making her woozy already. Will he slam the door in her face? What if he's in the middle of a family dinner? What if he's with _her_? Shit. Kate shudders. No. She has to do this. If she doesn't take this chance then with the way he's been acting, it's safe to say their relationship has no chance of bouncing back. The possibility of this sends Kate's mind into a frenzy of missed chances and what-ifs, giving her the extra ounce of courage she needs. She picks up her pace and knows this is it. This is what needs to be done. She knows what she wants, and, if she's being honest with herself, what she needs. What she's denied herself of for too long. _Him._

She arrives at his door and presses three knocks against it which are neither soft raps nor forceful pounds; a middle ground which she feels is the best way to start this…thing. It can't be classed as a confrontation because that sounds too aggressive. This has to start civil. Regardless of how irritated or confused she feels right now, an angry confrontation will get her nowhere and Kate knows it. No rage or frustration just yet. She needs to first see how he reacts to her being there. If that doesn't work then yes, she will let her anger and frustration seep through because this needs to be done. There is no way in hell she is leaving with just a "nothing's wrong, Kate". That's a load of crap and they both know it.

_No turning back now Kate, you can do this_.

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**Author's note:** Please let me know what you think! This is my first time posting on here...I've had this idea buzzing around in my head for a while and decided to finally get it out. It's not much but I will post more soon. How do you think the 'discussion' will go?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: THANK YOU to everyone who followed and/or favourited this story! I'm the master of procrastination and probably couldn't have picked a crazier time to decide to write this...I'm moving to America in a couple of weeks (I'm Australian) and have a grand total of 3 things packed so far. Oops. So I apologise, updates are likely to be sporadic but I will do my best to not make you wait too long :)**

* * *

_No turning back now Kate, you can do this_.

What seems like hours later, Kate gets caught up with her overactive mind continuing to form potential scenarios, the door swings open and she is met with the friendly face of the ruggedly handsome Richard Castle standing opposite her. For a moment she sees the familiar Castle, _her Castle_, and she has to stop a smile from forming on her face out of relief. She's missed that man so much. It doesn't last long, however. Once he realises who is standing on his doorstep, his face immediately turns cold, emotionless, as he stares back at Kate, an "oh" falling from his lips.

It's a bad "oh". One that conveys so much. It's an "oh _great_. What the hell are you doing here? You're the last person I want to see". She isn't dumb. She knows him well enough to understand exactly what the tone of that one seemingly insignificant word conveys. Kate's heart aches in response. _You have to do this_. _Now_.

Kate takes a deep breath, but before she can speak, Castle's next words send another painful blow.

"Why are you here, Beckett?"

Not even 'Kate'. He'd been calling her Kate so often now. She isn't going to deny it, she has liked the change. It feels more…personal. It has progressed along with their relationship. But now. Now it feels as though he's trying to distance himself. What the hell is going on?

"I…uh…" Kate seems incapable of forming coherent words as she struggles to regain the courage she had built up on the way to his door.

While he continues to stand there watching her, looking so cold and distant, he shuffles his weight from one foot to another impatiently and something snaps inside Kate. Screw what she said about starting civil. There's no way she can do that after the looks he's giving her. This is it. She steels herself and responds.

"Why am I here, Castle? You're really asking that?" she shakes her head and lets a bitter laugh escape.

The bite in her tone surprises him a bit, but he realises that this is happening now. He knew they'd eventually need to have this argument, he'd just been trying to avoid it, because communication wasn't their thing. An argument between them would end in an ultimatum and was likely to involve an end to his work with the NYPD. As angry as he is with her, the thought of no longer working with the NYPD seems a little strange.

"Well there's no case. Therefore there's no reason for you to be here so yeah, I really am asking that," he bites back.

Kate knows this is going to be bad, so she takes a step forward in an attempt to take this conversation into his loft, but when he realises what she is trying to do, Castle steps into the centre of the doorframe, blocking her from entering.

Oh.

_This is ridiculous._

"Look Castle, I'm not stupid. I know that there's something going on because you've been ignoring me for weeks now, but I really don't think you want to have this conversation in the hallway, do you?"

He has to admit she has a point, but he won't give her that satisfaction by vocalising his admission. He sighs and takes a step away from the door, allowing her to enter. Once she's inside, Castle shuts the door with a little more force than necessary.

_So that's how he's going to do this._

"So are you going to tell me why you're here now?" Castle says as he turns back to face Kate, refusing to move further into the loft than the doorway. If he moves into the living room, he won't be able convey with as much strength how much he wants her to leave.

"I want to know what the hell is going on with you," she replies, taking a step towards him, and when she sees the look on his face, knows what he is about to say, she quickly adds, "And don't you dare say there's nothing going on. Something has happened and I don't know what, but I know that whatever it is must be serious because things haven't been the same between us. I…I just want to know why, Castle. Before it's too late to resolve things."

He watches her for a moment. Resolve what? Their _friendship_?

"Maybe nothing has happened. Maybe I've changed my perspective."

"Perspective? Your perspective on what, Castle?" Why must he be so cryptic. She just needs a straight up explanation. Whatever it is, she can handle it. They never communicate what they need to and clearly it's about damn time they change that. No relationship is successful without a foundation of communication and trust. That's what they're working towards isn't it? Tearing down those walls.

"Life. People. I don't know Beckett, I guess I just figured why wait around for something that's never going to happen. Life's too short for that. It's not worth it."

It's not worth it. _She's not worth it_. His words sting and Beckett has no response.

He continues, "It's a waste of time convincing myself that things I want will happen eventually. No matter how much I want them. _Wanted._ I realised it was stupid of me to expect things would happen and wait around for so long. Especially when there was nothing concrete to say anything would ever happen in the first place. I was just holding onto a shred of hope. I guess that was the wrong thing to do and I realise now that I should never have invested so much."

Again, Beckett's confusion makes her struggle to find the right words to form a response.

"Enough of an explanation for you, Detective?" he asks when she says nothing, his tone snide on the last word, almost as though he's mocking her.

Kate knows this is about them. It has to be. Why else would he be so cold towards her? She feels tears forming but tries her best to hold them back, unsure whether they are from anger or his cutting words. Probably all of the above. Not to mention confusion. She can't let the tears fall in front of him. Not while he's acting like this.

"No. It's not, actually," she steels herself enough to respond, determined to not let him see how painful his words are. She has no idea why this change has occurred so suddenly. What was the trigger? Why now?

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you then, but you need to leave now."

"Cas–"

"Beckett. I said leave," he interrupted coldly, attempting to usher Kate even closer to the front door.

"There's no way you're getting rid of me that easily! What the hell is going on?" Kate's growing frustration meant she could no longer keep a normal conversational tone.

"Shit, Kate! Just go!" He snapped. He's irate, anger seething through his whole being. At this moment he doesn't care about her reasons for lying to him, he just needs her gone. It hurts too much. She has lied for so long and he's been living this whole time with false hope. He should be moving on and forgetting about what he was so convinced they had, but can't do that while she's standing here.

"Not until you tell me what I did to make you so angry," Kate replied, her tone firm and voice unwavering, despite the myriad of emotions swirling through her mind.

"You want to know what's making me so angry right now? The fact that you won't leave!" He replied, while opening the door and attempting to shoo her out. It was low but at this point he had no other option. He didn't want to talk to her and she was refusing to leave.

"Castle, what the –" He had his hand on her upper back and was physically guiding, _pushing_, her out the door.

The only thing Castle wanted was for Kate to be gone, but at the last moment before shutting the door in her face something inside him snapped. Maybe he just wanted to bite back at her given how much pain and heartache she'd put him through. So while he hadn't planned on explaining why he was so pissed off, he now wanted to say something that would pack a punch right back at Kate. Perhaps it was his way of dealing with the hurt. After all, she obviously didn't have feelings for him so he had nothing to lose, right?

"Just go, Beckett. Find someone else to rope in to your little game and let them follow you around like a lost dog. Drag them along. Let them fall in love with you, then pretend to not remember their admission before ignoring them for three months. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore. I'm done." With that, he pushed the door shut and proceeded to lock it, making it more than obvious that he was finished talking.

Castle hadn't planned on ending their partnership. Not now, anyway. It had come out in the heat of the moment, but maybe it was best to completely cut the cord sooner rather than later. He wasn't going to take back what he said anyway. If he said he was done, then he's done. Maybe now he can forget about the last four years and move on.

It certainly wouldn't be that easy, but he doesn't really have a choice. The fact that Kate lied for so long obviously proves that she does not feel the same way about him. So what? She was embarrassed by his confession and decided the best tactic was to ignore it completely and still let him continue following her around, wrongly holding on to the possibility of a future for them? A future that she knew would never exist, yet still let him hope for. How long did she plan to keep this going on? For what? Her entertainment?_ Who cares_, he tries to tell himself, but the depth of his feelings for Kate makes it extremely difficult to simply not care. He knows it will take time for his feelings to go away, if they ever do. Despite what he's been trying to convince himself, he can't just flip a switch. It's more complicated than that, and the writer in him, always eager for the story needs to know why she lied.

He can't think about this now. He should give it time. Distance himself.

He knows the perfect way and heads off in search of where he placed his phone, smiling while bringing up the number in his recent calls. The smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. _Soon_. He tries to convince himself he just needs time to heal the battering his heart has taken. And someone to help him temporarily forget.

* * *

On the other side of the door, Kate freezes as she takes in his words but it's too late. The door has already been slammed shut in her face, and if she heard correctly, locked. Yeah, she gets the message loud and clear.

_Shit, shit, shit._

Kate wracks her brain trying to determine if she'd heard Castle correctly. How did he know she lied to him? They haven't spoken about this before, deep discussions aren't their thing, and she hasn't told any of this to anyone apart from Dr Burke. _How the hell–_

_Oh._ _The interrogation._

_Shit._

_This is so messed up._

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**Please let me know what you think! If you have any suggestions as to where this story should head I will gladly accept them :)**


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